Today was an awful writing day.You see, the back porch roof on my less than a year old dream home collapsed the other day, necessitating that the nice builder people come and build me a nice, shiny, new porch roof.

Today, my house sounded like the entire cast of Riverdance was clogging in army boots on my rooftop. Since noise is apparently not in my muse's contract, I decided to do some research that I'd skipped over for the sake of staying focused on story during the first draft of The Book of Deadiquette.

Ever the diligent author-to-be, I busied myself learning about Gullah magik and herbal teas so that I could clear up one of the many "research this" notations scattered throughout my first draft.Good thing I did decide to look into these things, as I darned near poisoned my protag with a lethal mixture of jasmine and columbine. Granted, killing the protag off with a nice cup of herbal tea might have been an effective way to reduce word count--no protag, no story.

Anyhow, during my research, I came across a nice little bathtime potion that promises to ease the path to publication, fame and glory for the aspiring author. It's called the FAME AND GLORY BATH, and is the reported brainchild of sorceress Lexa Rosean (author of The Supermarket Sorceress series of books).

Fame And Glory Bath

Cut an apple in nine pieces, or alternately throw nine whole shiny apples into the tub. Use green and golden apples if you want your fame to come with some money attached. Then add nine bay leaves. Get in the tub and immerse yourself for exactly nine minutes, and then get out.

Supposedly this little Calgon moment is supposed to be particularly powerful for artists and writers.

Now I've long been a fan of the power of nine--the holy Trinity times three and all of that. Nine-ite that I am, I'm wondering if maybe it would behoove me to augment this nine-minute bath by doing it nine times for extra luck? Perhaps at 9am on the 9th day of the month, even? Or perhaps even internalize the magic and eat the apples in nine bites each after I'm done marinating? Ewww.....nix that.

Who said research is all about procrastination? Pfffffffffffffft.