Sunday, August 27, 2006

The OPFL Nominees Are...

I finally re-opened my Book of Deadiquette manuscript file today. Smug in the illusion that the world had never seen a more diligent author, I put aside my typical weekend pursuits (laundry and lunch box washing) so that I could dig into these dreaded, albeit inevitable revisions.

It didn't require my reading more than one line of my own prose for self-flagellating humility to come along and rock my confidence. There really is no denying the fact that my first line sucks blowfish.

Considering that my book currently sits at 70,000 unedited words, I'm humbled enough to realize that this revision effort could take a good bit longer than I expected. Apparently getting the bare bones of my story onto paper represented the easy part of the creative process.

Now the real work begins. Somehow, I have to make a good storyline readable and engaging.

Before I made the decision to dive head first back into my aspiring novelist career after having spent ten years away, I did do my homework. While writing with any kind of consistency felt pretty impossible as I raised and advocated for two kids with autism, I never stopped studying craft. I'm well aware all of the dire warnings that remind me if I am to grab an editor's attention, I have approximately one line of twelve-point Times New Roman to do it with. Is it any wonder that I've now developed an acute case of first line anxiety?

So here I sit, with dozens of my favoritest favorite books piled around me, and with God as my witness, I have eaten up my entire first day of scheduled revisions voyeuristically perusing OPFL's (other people's first lines). I'm trying to glean for myself why it is that some first lines have the power to send me running for the nearest cash register while others leave me so unmoved that I return them to their places on the bookstore shelf.

I doubt that I'm the first writer to hate her own manuscript beginning with word one, so in hopes that another might benefit from the conundrum I face today, I'm going to share some amazing first lines.

While this quest didn't get me any closer to my sixty-days to completed second draft goal, it certainly has given me a bit of new insight into how writers command readers, and hopefully why editors choose the manuscripts that they do.

So here they are, my personal nominations for Best OPFL's. For me, each is imbued with elusive power to not only draw a reader's interest, but also to compel the irresistable urge to turn the page.

Genre: paranormal chick lit:
"The Day I died started out bad and got worse in a hurry"
Undead and Unwed ( by Mary Janice Davidson).
This line speaks of magic in an Every Woman kind of way. Haven't we ALL had days like this? And don't we all want a bit of magic to come whisk us away now and again?

Genre: short story
Mavis McPherson is locked in the bathroom and will not come out.
(Ordinary Life: Stories, A Love Story by Elizabeth Berg)
Now I, for one, want to know what in the hell is up with Mavis! By the sounds of her name, it appears that she may have been around the block a time or two. Forget chic lit, I see a hen's tale coming on, and I want to know more.

Genre: women's fiction:
Until I met Grace Russo, I did not know that my Lacoste shirts did not have to be dry-cleaned.
(Full of Grace, A Novel, Dorothea Benton Frank)
From the first line, I'm dying to know exactly who Grace Russo is, as well as why any woman in her right mind would pay good money to dry clean Lacoste! So much so that I purchased this book in hardcover. With no discount.

Genre: thriller:
Scott Duncan sat across from the killer.
(Just One Look, Harlan Coben)
Did you say killer? Nothing like starting the reader off in the thick of the plot.

Nonfiction:
Let's say a spaceship lands next to you on the coffee table (does size matter?) and inside is The Universal Book of Everything.
(What the Bleep do We Know?, William Arntz, Betsy Chasse, Mark Vincente)
Don't know about ya'll, but The Universal Book of Everything is right up there on my wish list with the Holy Grail. That, and finding a bra that enhances something other than back rolls.

Middle Grade Children's Book:
When May died, Ob came back to the trailer, got out of his good suit, and into his regular clothes, then went and sat in the Chevy for the rest of the night.
(Missing May, Cynthia Rylant)
Poor Ob! Who was May, why did she die, and what made Ob love her so much that he'd sleep in a Chevy? (A Lamborghini, I could understand, but a Chevy?)

Paranormal Romance Novella:
The dirty, sweat-soaked demon dropped to his knees.
(Mysteria: Mortal in Mysteria, Susan Grant)
Wow. I like demons. Especially sweaty ones on their knees. Hubba Bubba, gimme more! :)

Young Adult:
God, I hate School.
(Oh My Goth, Gina Showalter)
Show me one teenager who can't sympathize with such a universal sentiment. My daughter read, and re-read this book in the space of 24 hours. So natch, I had to steal it from her in order to glean for myself how Ms. Showalter managed to come between my angst ridden, would be Goth girl (if she hadn't been cursed with Abercrombie and Fitch genes) and her love affair with the internet.

With my new enlightenment regarding OPFL's that I wish had been my own, I returned back to my own first line. As the eager writer in me erupted out of the starting gate, my (humble, I swear) beginning stood like this:

If you’re sitting there thinking that your love life is beyond reproach, then you’d best just sit down and cut yourself a big old slice of humble pie, because you’re going to be chomping on it come sundown.

I could argue that there are worse first lines out there, but I also have to acknowledge that this one is far from magical.

Tomorrow, I'll revisit my first line, as well as the following paragraphs. I already know that I have to introduce my protag's best friend much quicker than I did in Drafty old Draft 1, as she suddenly popped onto the reader's radar, completely unannounced, in chapter 3. (That scene stealing bitch!)

In the meantime, tell me about your favorite first lines. You can use your own, or those of an author whose work you love.

I really do want to know what sends you to page two.

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